Follow your heart
I am not much of a planner anymore.
Of course, I do plan my day at work, get groceries and plan to visit family or have a friend over.
And it turns out - that's great for me.
Often, fixed appointments meant big stress for me. Once I know I H A V E to do something at a certain time it makes me nervous. Not really nervous but it puts me in unease if this makes sense?
A few years back I was a big planner in my private life. I would plan 1, 2, 3 months ahead. I knew exactly how everything should look like: Getting married, getting kids, buy a house, getting old, die. That's easy.
Right now, things are different.
I try to be as unattached as possible to material things. Of course I love my camera, my crafting things etc. Buying a home or a car on the other hand makes me nervous now. Things that would have given me the comfort of a - in my opinion - false security do make me nervous now. I often look back and reflect on my life and I love that things change. For me that means that I am making progress. I am different now.
So why I am writing this post now you might ask. It is to kill all the voices in my head. The ones that are nagging from far behind. Telling me I need more security, I should have kids by now, I should have settled in my age etc.
Honestly, they can f*** off!
The only thing that I need right now is being happy. And with a lot going on in my life at the moment, this is not as easy as it sounds. I need to find out again what it is that makes me happy. I think life is a journey and at the moment I am a little lost. I am sure I will find my path again soon. Who knows, I might end up going a few steps back to be on track again. But right now, it feels OK to wonder and not be focused for once.
First step for me is getting back to a more healthy and fit life-style. I have been less focused on that during the summer month. I have been working out again 3-4 times a week for 2 weeks now and will also start a food journal again starting tomorrow. And I do have the slight feeling that this change will also help me getting better on a mental level. And who know were that will lead me to.
For now, I am looking forward to the journey ahead and I am curious what and who will cross my path in the next days, weeks and month.
Take care of yourself,
Lily
Of course, I do plan my day at work, get groceries and plan to visit family or have a friend over.
And it turns out - that's great for me.
Often, fixed appointments meant big stress for me. Once I know I H A V E to do something at a certain time it makes me nervous. Not really nervous but it puts me in unease if this makes sense?
A few years back I was a big planner in my private life. I would plan 1, 2, 3 months ahead. I knew exactly how everything should look like: Getting married, getting kids, buy a house, getting old, die. That's easy.
Right now, things are different.
I try to be as unattached as possible to material things. Of course I love my camera, my crafting things etc. Buying a home or a car on the other hand makes me nervous now. Things that would have given me the comfort of a - in my opinion - false security do make me nervous now. I often look back and reflect on my life and I love that things change. For me that means that I am making progress. I am different now.
So why I am writing this post now you might ask. It is to kill all the voices in my head. The ones that are nagging from far behind. Telling me I need more security, I should have kids by now, I should have settled in my age etc.
Honestly, they can f*** off!
The only thing that I need right now is being happy. And with a lot going on in my life at the moment, this is not as easy as it sounds. I need to find out again what it is that makes me happy. I think life is a journey and at the moment I am a little lost. I am sure I will find my path again soon. Who knows, I might end up going a few steps back to be on track again. But right now, it feels OK to wonder and not be focused for once.
First step for me is getting back to a more healthy and fit life-style. I have been less focused on that during the summer month. I have been working out again 3-4 times a week for 2 weeks now and will also start a food journal again starting tomorrow. And I do have the slight feeling that this change will also help me getting better on a mental level. And who know were that will lead me to.
For now, I am looking forward to the journey ahead and I am curious what and who will cross my path in the next days, weeks and month.
Take care of yourself,
Lily
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